Family Mediation: What To Expect If You’re Separating With Children
- ruthsk
- Mar 20
- 3 min read
When families change, emotions naturally run high, especially when children are involved. Even when separation is the right decision, it can feel overwhelming, uncertain and frightening.
If you are considering family mediation, you may be wondering what the process actually involves and whether it is right for you.
As a trained family mediator, I work with couples to make the process as painless as possible. Here is what you need to know.
By Ruth Schocken Katz, family and divorce mediator based at Camden Therapy in NW London.
What Is Family Mediation?
Family mediation is a confidential, structured process where an impartial mediator helps separating parents make decisions about:
Where children will live
How time will be shared
School holidays and special occasions
Financial arrangements for children
How decisions will be made going for how parents will communicate around children’s issues to ensure effective co-parenting
In England and Wales, mediation is encouraged by the courts, and, in most cases, you must attend a MIAM before applying for a child arrangements order.
A MIAM is not mediation itself. It is a private meeting with a mediator to explore whether mediation is suitable for your situation.
Is Family Mediation Compulsory?
Mediation itself is voluntary.
However, under the Family Procedure Rules, most people applying to court about children or finances must attend a MIAM first.
The court’s position in 2026 remains clear: where it is safe to do so, families are expected to try resolving issues outside court first.
Why Parents Choose Family Mediation
Parents often choose family mediation because:
It reduces conflict
It is significantly faster than court
It costs a fraction of litigation
It keeps children at the centre of decisions
It protects privacy
It is less emotionally draining
It is less adversarial than court
Decisions remain in parents’ hands
Court proceedings can take many months. Mediation can often be resolved within weeks. In London particularly, where my practice is based, court delays remain significant. Mediation provides a calmer and more responsive alternative.
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme
If your discussions relate to children, you may be eligible for the government’s Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, which currently provides up to £500 towards mediation costs.
This remains available in 2026, subject to eligibility and availability of funds.
What Happens In Sessions?
You will each attend a MIAM individually. If mediation is suitable and you both agree to proceed, joint sessions begin.
Sessions are structured and calm. You will not be forced to agree to anything. The mediator does not take sides and does not impose decisions.
Where appropriate, Child-Inclusive Mediation can allow children aged around 10 and over to share their views in a safe and supported way.
Is The Agreement Legally Binding?
Mediation agreements are not automatically legally binding.
If you reach agreement, a solicitor can convert this into a consent order for approval by the Family Court.
Is Family Mediation Right For You?
You do not need to have everything worked out before speaking to a mediator. You only need a willingness to explore a calmer way forward.
If you would like to understand whether mediation could work for your family, a confidential initial call can help you decide your next step. I offer a free and confidential 15-minute introductory call - for more information please get in touch.
If you are considering family mediation and want to know more about the potential benefits for families with children, please read my child-focused mediation article.
